The goal of coaching is to motivate others and expand their thinking and skills. While feedback is a corrective exercise, coaching is a tool focused on growth and development.
I liken the act of coaching to stretching and shooting an elastic band. The psychological process that coaching involves is exactly this. The objective is to create tension between the current and future desired state and clarity as to where to go next in your direct report’s mind.
The First Step to Coaching
The first step involves getting full clarity about where to aim the elastic band. This is a very important first step as if you don’t aim the elastic band (or coaching) in the right direction, it won’t have the desired impact. This step involves asking the clarity questions captured in “Flashlight in the Dark.”
This is where most coaching fails, as the leader takes what their direct report first shares at face value and then begins coaching based on that assumption.
I have found that the real problem to be coached is rarely what it initially seems.
Effective coaching requires first getting good at diagnosing what the exact problem is so that you can coach accordingly.
Creating Tension
The next step involves pulling back the elastic and creating tension between where we are now and where we would like to be. This involves asking current-state questions like “What have you tried so far?” “What is getting in your way?”” What exactly are you struggling with?” and then future-oriented questions like “What are you hoping to achieve?” “What would make the biggest difference here?” and “What would happen if nothing changes?”
The Final Step to Coaching
The final step is to step out of the way and encourage them to shoot the elastic band or, in our case, jump into action.
Key Takeaways
- Reflect on your current coaching approach. Are you activating action by creating tension between the current and desired future state?
- Practice with this approach this week. Next time your colleague comes to you with a problem, properly cue up coaching with the elastic band approach before jumping to advice-giving.
- Experiment with a few new coaching questions this week and add your own to make it your own.
