When Coaching Works Best
Coaching works best when you are confident that your direct report has the answer but lacks the clarity and confidence to act on their own.
In this relationship, you can boost their ability to make these calls independently by establishing stronger neuro connections in their brains for similar situations in the future.
This is the art form of coaching, where asking good questions and providing the space for processing can build stronger neurological networks, hence strengthening your direct reports’ confidence and clarity in decision-making.
How to Coach Effectively
For coaching to be effective, you must first be confident that it is the right tool to deploy and, secondly, that you are asking the right type of questions that will strengthen the brain and not trigger defensiveness or back peddling.
Sometimes, a situation calls for another leadership approach or a balance between several approaches, such as the Cheerleader, Social Worker, Challenger, or Engineer approach.
I have a post that explains the difference between coaching and consulting and when coaching is the right tool.
It’s Kinda Like Using a Flashlight in the Dark
A close colleague of mine likens this coaching style to a flashlight in the dark. The Darkroom is the brain of your direct report, and the flashlight is you.
To answer the first question of whether coaching is the right tool, the first question to ask is, “Are the answers in the room (aka direct reports’ brain), and do they just need help illuminating and clarifying the path forward? If this is the case, coaching is the best tool for maximum impact.
The second part is asking good questions. For example, I lose my keys a lot, and when I do, the first question that gets asked is, “Where was the last place you put them?” This is an example of a not-so-good coaching question.
For coaching questions to be effective, they should be focused on illuminating different parts of the problem with the intent of bringing clarity to the problem at hand and also the best path forward. The four types of coaching questions should be focused on what we refer to as the 4 C’s of coaching – clarity, compassion, conviction and confidence.
- Giving Clarity to the Problem: I call these the “What Ya” questions
- What ya looking for from me
- What ya wanting to achieve
- What ya worried the most about
- What ya tried so far
- Connecting with Compassion: I call these the “How Ya” questions
- How ya feeling about this so far
- How ya processing the set back or win?
- How ya contemplating moving forward?
- How ya doing over all?
- Creating Conviction to Move Forward: I call these the “Could Ya” question
- Could ya try this?
- Could ya consider….?
- Could ya talk to?
- Could ya take another approach?
- Providing the Confidence to Take the Next Step: I call this the “Would Ya” questions
- Would ya commit to trying this?
- Would ya commit to trying this?
- Would ya follow-up with…..?
- Would ya feel good about…?
- Would ya try to…..?
Key Takeaways
- Think about your one-on-ones and see if you are doing a good job in illuminating the thinking of your team
- Of the 4 coaching C’s which ones do you feel you go to naturally? Which ones do you need to lean into more?
- Make a commitment to experiment with the flashlight approach this week and try asking some of the 4Cs
